Comments on: Greetings and good-byes in a country that’s a melting-pot and a time when formal manners have fallen by the wayside

by: Matthom

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 19:40:20 -0700

Wow - that’s the longest title of a blog entry I’ve ever seen.

I typically go with the “wave.” I love the “wave,” because it’s subtle body language that shows all-around “good intentions.”

For example - if you just SAY goodbye - with just your voice - in some places, the other person might not hear you. Or, if they somehow miss your “vocal goodbye,” by not looking at you, when you said it - they may think you hardly said it at all - and therefore, they’ll think you may not like them.

The “wave” is great, cuz you can VISUALLY show the person that you are saying goodbye - without having to yell. You can do it from a distance - or up close. And, in combination with a vocal goodbye.

I’d have to think that other cultures respect that too. And, I’m typically not too “keen” on “touching” the other person - whether it be a handshake, or hug. It’s not that touching is bad - but American culture has pretty much gone against it. (I hear in some European places, everyone gets a kiss on the cheek.) We just don’t do that, over here.

So yeah - I feel pretty content with the “wave.”

by: Jennifer

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 23:39:31 -0700

Hehe, yeah, next time maybe the whole post will be in the title.

I frequently fall back on the wave, but sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough, depending on what company I’m in. So then I feel silly for waving when everyone else is hugging or shaking hands. Maybe I just think about it too much!

by: mike_b1

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 10:57:34 -0700

You’re right — it is awkward. Whatever the wrong move is, that’s the one I inevitably do.

Ever see that Seinfeld episode about this?

by: Jennifer

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 10:59:16 -0700

Hmm, I don’t think I saw it. It does sound like the perfect topic for Seinfeld, though.

by: mike_b1

Mon, 19 Sep 2005 15:34:24 -0700

The Kiss Hello episode. Here’s the script.

(I don’t know how to do html links, otherwise I’d hotlink it here) http://www.wayabroad.com/english/tv/Seinfeld/seinfeldscripts/TheKissHello.html

Jerry by the kitchen. The buzzer sounds, and Jerry answers.

JERRY: Yeah?

WENDY (O.C.): Wendy.

JERRY: Come on up.

Elaine enters from the bathroom.

ELAINE: Well, this is it. Shall I go get Kramer?

JERRY: No no, he’ll come in. Well, this is gonna be my first

opportunity to not kiss her hello.

ELAINE: What is the big deal about putting your lips on somebody’s

face?

JERRY: It’s the obligation, you know? As soon as this person comes in,

you know you have to do this. I mean, if you could, say, touch a breast as part

of the kiss hello, then I think I could see the value in it a little better.

ELAINE: How ’bout an intercourse hello? How would that be?

JERRY: Elaine, now you’re being ridiculous.

by: Kathie F.

Fri, 07 Oct 2005 19:39:56 -0700

Jennifer - I totally know how you feel. Not being much of a hugger myself I often veel very awkward in goodbye situations even to the point of dreading the goodbye moment. Dan’s parents are elderly and not a month ever goes by in which I don’t see them but the always greet me with a hug/kiss near the ear and say goodbye with a hug/kiss. Now, Dan’s parents are two of the kindest people on the entire planet but I have to say when his dad gives me the near-the-ear kiss it makes my spine tingle and not in a good way. We go through the whole process each and every time I see them even if it was only a few days ago. Yech.